The minute we’re unhappy with any aspect of our life, we’re supposed to change our life. But what if we’re not ready–or able? What if it’s a situation we CAN’T change … like illness or loss?
When the stakes are high and our options (and energy) are low, I don’t think our first step should be to quit our jobs and cut off relationships, responsibilities and reality. Instead, we should shift our focus from DOING to BEING. Let’s look an example of the difference.
DOING: “I have to find another job. I need to do it now, starting with a new resume.”
BEING: “How can I be happier in this job?” Without a lot of conflict and upheaval, how can I be more comfortable in this job? Do I need to be more engaged in the work? Do I want to be more ‘myself’ with my coworkers? What would it take to be more in control of my time?”
The clearer you are about your personal brand (who you are, what you value, why you matter in the world), the easier it is to make this shift.
Making this shift won’t change the situation, at least not right away. But right away it moves you back into your comfort zone. You shift the focus from what’s not working to what IS–your strengths, sense of self and knowledge of what you DO want from life, vs. what you DON’T want. You may ultimately come up with a strategy for leaving the bad situation behind. But even if you can’t leave, there will be a change: You’ll figure out how to adapt to bad financial, situational or personal situations–without giving up your power to feel good.
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