Want to Be More Patient? Here’s Immediate Gratification

First, define what you mean by patient. Here’s one: Ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset. Find your own definition by writing down how “patient” looks, sounds, behaves and feels … to you.

Now, use this awareness to recognize when you’re being patient. For example, the person ahead of you at the ATM you can’t remember the PIN.  Instead of getting upset, you say to yourself: “I’m being so patient! Good job!” You immediately start telling the story you want to tell–and it feels good.

Keep going: Your dog unravels the scarf you’re knitting. Your friend is late yet again. The lab results are taking forever. Your back still hurts.  The report still isn’t right.  Instead of sighing, rolling your eyes, crying, screaming or punching a wall, you congratulate yourself on being patient, taking a step back from the situation, trusting things will work out, or you simply laugh — at yourself and at the situation. You take control of the story you’re telling.

In fact, the stories you start telling yourself have the power to help you become more and more of the person you’ve always wanted to be:  A better problem-solver (“Well, I solved that!”). Better with money (“What a frugal choice!”). De-stressed (“I did that so calmly!”) Organized (“I found that so quickly”). Kinder (“That was very forgiving of me!”). Higher self-esteem (“I deserve credit for that!”). You get immediate gratification that — in small ways — you’re already becoming who you want to be.